I’m a Sucker for that Ethnic Cuisine

Hark! I hear the mosquito zapper industriously keeping flesh from bite
The barbecue smells nice and the meat is ready but my mind is not on food
But what’s just walked into my line of sight

You ask if I would like some onion, and I guess that would be alright
I squirt the sauce but miss the hot dog ’cause
My eyes have been possessed
And have followed her around like a dog all night

She’s got breasts of chicken and legs of lamb
Nobody gets my mouth watering like she can
Let me devour you – I’ll be your gravy
Will you marinate me, chopstick baby?
She’s kebabulous

I tap my feet ’cause the music’s playing
Somebody’s thought to turn the jukebox on
I slowly groove in her general direction and
I pull one right out of my rectum
When I say “Let’s dance they’re playing our song”

‘Cause I’m a sucker for that ethnic cuisine
Nothing does it to me like that foreign taste
Yes I’m a sucker for that ethnic cuisine
Grabs me by the wan-tons, prawn crackers my sweet embrace

We start to flow as I feel her rhythm,
Heart triple-pounding an adrenaline waltz
I try to kiss her and then I realise I’ve stepped in a pile of guano
And it’s going to take some fancy work to clean it all off

My dancing partner is deservedly furious
Don’t think there’s much chance she’ll be staying the night
So I swiftly pull a move, getting down on my knees and
I present the single red rose
That I keep down my pants for an emergency plight

words & music:
D. Allen-Williams 1999

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