a day in the life of quadruple-o-six
the undercover pickle bean
arrived at the scene of a heinous crime
in his customary suit of green
the officer in charge had the fairy bread impounded
he turned to bean with a frown
“that conniving fly has been at it again,
you can see some of the freckles are brown!”
bean got a tip-off and he checked the address
it was the party of two lovely young ladies
so he jumped in a salad and radioed in
“the stranmillis house is under surveillance…”
but thousand island dressing was not to his taste
so he burrowed into a tomato
and hence missed the entrance of that dastardly fly
who landed in the dip on the table
o undercover pickle bean
you walk the night and clear our streets
of the slimy and unclean
who can guess the horrors that you’ve seen
and unsung hero but it’s all a day’s work
for the undercover pickle..
bean was immersed but he played on a hunch
and hitched a ride with a carrot
he planned to eject at the french onion dip
but ended up being fed to a parrot
tried to escape but was swallowed with the force
of a fully-charged maniacal hoover
a sphincter to avoid but he couldn’t pull off
the world’s first internal heimlich manoeuvre
words & music:
D. Allen-Williams 2001
(DADF#BE)