The Undercover Pickle Bean

a day in the life of quadruple-o-six
  the undercover pickle bean
arrived at the scene of a heinous crime
  in his customary suit of green
the officer in charge had the fairy bread impounded
  he turned to bean with a frown
“that conniving fly has been at it again,
  you can see some of the freckles are brown!”

bean got a tip-off and he checked the address
  it was the party of two lovely young ladies
so he jumped in a salad and radioed in
  “the stranmillis house is under surveillance…”
but thousand island dressing was not to his taste
  so he burrowed into a tomato
and hence missed the entrance of that dastardly fly
  who landed in the dip on the table

o undercover pickle bean
you walk the night and clear our streets
  of the slimy and unclean
who can guess the horrors that you’ve seen
and unsung hero but it’s all a day’s work
  for the undercover pickle..

bean was immersed but he played on a hunch
  and hitched a ride with a carrot
he planned to eject at the french onion dip
  but ended up being fed to a parrot
tried to escape but was swallowed with the force
  of a fully-charged maniacal hoover
a sphincter to avoid but he couldn’t pull off
  the world’s first internal heimlich manoeuvre

words & music:
D. Allen-Williams 2001

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